DETROIT LAKES, Minn. --
Unloading.
Honest feedback. Those
are benefits that David and Janet Malone of New York Mills, Minn., say
they got out of a farm stress retreat held a year ago by MeritCare Health
System. The Malones were among 54 couples involved in three seminars. They
were among 31 couples who attended reunion retreats in early November.
Dr. Val Farmer, a clinical psychologist and author on rural health
issues, led both events.
Farmer, one of the region's most popular rural advocacy columnists,
offers a new compilation of columns he has written since 1993. "Honey
I Shrunk the Farm" is a wide-ranging collection of messages that help
farmers in crisis "shrink" their farm problems in their
consciousness.
Farmer's career in rural counseling and column-writing took off in the
farm credit crisis of the early and mid-1980s. He started in the Huron,
S.D., area and then moved to Rapid City, S.D. In the past few years, he
has been in Fargo.
'Here we are again'
Most of this book's topics are about coping and farm stress during the
1996-97 winter and subsequent challenges.
"I didn't think I would have a second round of writing about farm
stress in my lifetime," Farmer writes in the foreword. "Here we
are again and, unhappily, the ending to this crisis is not over."
The Malones are trying to hang on to a farm that includes 300 acres of
cropland and 80 head of cattle. They gave up their farm dream once in the
1980s and don't want to do it again.
Last fall, Janet Malone saw a notice about Val Farmer's retreat in her
children's 4-H newsletter. They went because it was free and because they
were looking for answers.
"Honest answers," David emphasized. "We were debating on
putting the land in the (Conservation Reserve Program) and wanted to see
what our options were from somebody that was unbiased."
Said Janet: "The retreat showed us some options to diversify, but
it helped us unload the things that are going on in our lives that nobody
really cares about back in the community. The community's attitude is that
if you can't deal with it (financial stress), then get out of the
business. I see it as not really a business, but a way of living -- for
families to be together."
Making the payment
Since 1995, the Malones have been going backward on the farm.
"All the farm does is make the farm payment. There's no living
money coming off of the farm," David said. "We borrowed $30,000
to put crops in this year and we'll be lucky to pay that off. I'm thinking
we could reduce our equity again by $5,000 to $10,000."
To make ends meet, David shifted into full-time off-farm construction
work. Since 1992, Janet had been a part-time cook at the school. This past
fall, she went to Fergus Falls (Minn.) Community College to get a degree
in social work or special education.
It's been a tough transition at ages 41 and 40 with four children, but
one they say is worth it.
"The kids are at an age where (staying on the farm) is a lifestyle
issue," Janet said. "Basically, I believe the rural area and the
farm life is a good place to raise kids. I know my kids will never be able
to come back and raise kids on a farm. I'm sad to see that we have to work
in an industry or in a city to make a living."
Said David: "I think most of the people who came (to the
retreats), from what I've gathered, were looking for answers on how to
stay in farming."
Intensity
The Malones describe the retreats as intense. Retreat-goers get into
discussing feelings that would be taboo back home.
"For me, it was a stretching thing," Janet said. "I'm
not one to share my life. My attitude is that what's going on inside of me
is for me to know.
"But you feel like it's such a relief. In a small farming
community, you don't have support groups for people struggling with
decisions on farm income."
In his book, Farmer also offers the possibility that the farmer might
leave the farm.
"Leaving the farm or changing your farming operation doesn't make
you a failure," Farmer tells one reader.
"It is making a change to meet your goals. It is a willingness to
use your resources to further your goals. If you develop that kind of
thinking, a whole world of choices opens up to you." |